Did she ever like me?

Hey recently i got involved with this girl who was involved with some drugs but was one of my best friends. Throughout the relationship she tells me she wants 2 go out with me. We go out and after a week we break up since she said she was attracted 2 someone else. Although i was upset i continued hanging out with her and we eventually have one day when she invited me over 2 her place 2 drink. We were really close although i didnt completely trust her. Long story short she goes to a rehab after an "accident" and i would visit her and she would tell me she loved me and such and wanted our "friends with benefits" relationship to continue since she didnt want to officially be in a relationship. After a month more of being by her side she gets out and we have an argument since she didnt want to be intimately involved with me which broke my heart cuz i had strong feelings for this woman. I honestly tried to make an effort to be "just friends" but my genetics just wouldnt let me sit back while i imagine her being with someone else. 1 night she said something that upset me so i said something back and she tells me she never liked me and just pretended to. This bothers me even more since it feels like all we had was a lie. Was she just retaliating? Can anyone help cuz this really upsets me :(